An exchange between me and the Painter.
Me: Ok, time to get your shoes and your sweater on so we can go to school.
Subtext: We are already running late.
Realization, as he looks in the closet for his shoes. They are on the porch covered in dog crap.
No problem, he can wear some other shoes today.
Me: I just remembered, your shoes are on the porch because you stepped in dog poop. Why don't you wear your Buzz Lightyear shoes or these neat boots instead.
Show the Painter two slightly small pairs of shoes that he has barely worn.
Painter: Those boots aren't neat, they're just brown.
Frustration, because he said he liked them in the store.
Me: Well, I like them, but how about your Buzz Lightyear shoes then.
Painter: I don't like Buzz Lightyear.
Ditto on the frustration.
Me: Well, your Curious George shoes have dog poop on them, so you have to pick a different pair.
Painter: You can just clean them mommy.
I don't want to clean them. I have my work clothes on, and I don't want to get them all wet and dirty. And I have to get to work because I have a morning deadline, and I did things I wanted to do instead of finishing the work last night. And we're already late, so I don't have time to clean them.
Me: I can't clean them right now. They'd be all wet and then your feet would be all wet and cold.
Painter: That's okay for me.
I go outside and look at the shoes. They're not really dirty, they just stink.
Me: No, you need to pick a different pair.
Painter: No, you can just clean them.
Me: NO I CAN'T.
AARGH! Why can't he just cooperate.
Well, you can see where this is going. The situation didn't improve any when A.D. came to support my position, or when I offered the even smaller pair of shoes that the Painter wore all the time before getting his new ones. I'll spare you the rest of the ugly details. Suffice it to say, things got worse, not better, and A.D. and I both left the house with the Painter in time-out, and without taking him to school, leaving D. to clean up the psychic mess.
Mistake #1: Assuming that ANY change is no big deal to the Painter when it is not of his own making.
Mistake #2: Going by hearsay. The shoes weren't really that bad, and in retrospect probably could have been cleaned sufficiently by running around on the dewy grass.
Mistake #3: Mis-judging who needed a time-out. If I had listened to my own subtext in the moment, I might have been able to put it aside and come up with some perspective. What's important, my work deadline? my clothes? or my son?
Update: The teacher says, next time, to bring him in bare feet.
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6 comments:
Yup. This is WAY too familiar. I have on many occasion found myself screaming at everyone because they're just not moving fast enough, or they aren't snarfing down their breakfast, or they spilled breakfast while snarfing it down, or whatever. When REALLY, the problem is that I'M running late.
This is a great post, because I'm sure we've ALL lived it. I guess the thing to do is just do better tomorrow, right?
Oh yeah. Truth be told, I just hollered at my daughter because she saw the "old" shower caddy in the junk closet and wanted to put it in her "new" bathtub. NO NOT NOW YOU ARE TOO MUCH TROUBLE! Subtext: I've had too much coffee to drink.
And speaking of truth, you better find the time to read Momma Zen. Or maybe I should.
Is that self-promotion or honest advice? ;)
I'll take it either way. I've added Momma Zen to my wish list, since I have a birthday coming up (in addition to "the holidays") and the relatives are always devastated if I can't tell them what I want.
I have way too many of those, unfortunately :(
Somewhat belated, but thanks for stopping by, brillig!
To all, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!
And, just think, if you didn't work you could just let those shoes sit in crap for weeks ... : )
Funny ... we had poop covered shoes this week, too. Very annoying ... but I learned that a good freeze overnight does the trick very easily. I was thinking of googling that idea and seeing if it's a remedy of sorts.
I agree with PP -- there's always the next battle to do things differently. All we can do is try .. very, very hard.
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