At my OB appointment yesterday, I asked my doctor when she thought I should go on maternity leave. I had been planning on 38 weeks, as that is what I did for the first, and it seems to be some kind of standard. I was thinking (hoping?) that she would say I should go out a few weeks earlier, but her response floored me. "How about 30 weeks?" Um, that's just two weeks from now (different due date than I used for my countdown). "Well, how about 32 weeks then, but if you feel like you need to take off sooner, just do it, and we'll make the leave retroactive." Um, okay ...
Well, that certainly puts a new frame on things!
I told my boss this morning that I would be going on leave before the end of the year, that my last day would be December 20. What I didn't have the courage to say yet is that I won't be coming back.
AD and I talked about my reluctance to make my decision final last night. I told him I am scared to do so, but I don't know why. (Does it really matter why? Will naming my fears make them go away?) But when he posed the question, "why would you go back?", all I could come up with is how much work there is still to do on these projects, and my sense of obligation to those projects and to the people involved.
But I also have obligations to my family, and most importantly, to myself.
As the doctor said, "the work will always be there." My boss will find someone to take over while I am on leave, whether I have finished 2 or 5 or 28 things on my to do list before then. And once someone else is handling the work, I'm sure they can capably continue to do so when I don't come back.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Wow, things are progressing quickly for you, aren't they? I hope everything will be fine.
We're doing fine. I realized after reading your comment I didn't specify *why* my doctor wants me off earlier. Mostly, it's for rest, and because, as she said, my "body knows how to do this". In other words, I think she's afraid the baby will come *quickly* when he comes.
Letting things go on without me can be so hard! I appreciate your perspective, that you can only do so much and what you do not do at "work" someone else would manage just fine.
That's a deep exhale right there.
It is a good perspective. I write it here so I can remember it when next I am tempted to be a martyr. ;)
Even though I knew that I wouldn't be returning to my teaching position, I avoided telling my principal for as long as I could. It just seemed so . . .final, I guess.
Post a Comment